Poetry : I’m not even mad

What’s funny is I’ve finally realized what a goddamn insufferable loser I am. And honestly I’m not even mad…it just sucks that every step I take forward I always take three of them bitches backwards. Again I’m not even mad, I have a sister who hates my guts and one that’s probably headed in the same direction.

The people I count as friends is a group that dwindles daily. It’s funny how fucking fake some people are, unapologetic assholes who are just fair weather fodder for social envy. People who fucking make me sick that a courtesy couldn’t even have extended to someone so easily unfriended. Lol that makes me a little mad, I’ll bounce back, but just barely, and it’ll all go to shit.

Honestly I open up to people I regret it, it all backfires because apparently I have loser written all over me. I have some real great people who really care, but everyone else lol, all you do is sit and stare and you know who you are and how far shits fallen from grace. I’m not even mad, I’m just a dirtbag I’m just a loser, I’m not a friend I’m just the lesson, I’m fat kid, the secret confession.

I’m just the definition of what not to do, that piece of shit bastard that jokes around and laughs at you. I bust jokes and I make fun, I keep it light hearted so it’s easier to run. I wear a mask for every situation, always Interchangeable and always at arms length.

Because I’ll never let anyone hurt me except me with my own strength. Fuck you for caring and trying to stay, fuck you for not running away. And fuck you for being there through, that goes to my real friends. But fuck doesn’t just mean fuck you to me, it also means thank you just not all politely and pretty.

If you read this whole thing it’s just me writing. I’m not gonna off myself. Sometimes I just need to get shit off my chest. Lol scaring the shit out of people apparently works best. But seriously, some of you are fucking dicks. Some of your aren’t too bad, but honestly I’m not even mad.

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